


We Drink The Bitter Wine

by FunkyinFishnet



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Female Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:45:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunkyinFishnet/pseuds/FunkyinFishnet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aurora and Mulan both knew Philip, and loved him. Aurora watches Mulan now and feels complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set post 'Tallahassee' and goes a little AU from there. Title taken from the song 'Those Canaan Days' from the musical 'Joseph And The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.'

 

 

The dreams didn't stop. Fire, burning curtains, and somebody else there, just out of view. Princess Snow was kind and sat with her, stroking her hair. She seemed so strong and sure. Aurora took comfort in that, in witnessing life being lived beyond the nightmares of the sleeping spell. But Princess Snow had also been reunited with her true love. Aurora was not that blessed.

 

She turned her face away so that Princess Snow did not see her tears. Philip was gone. She had to keep telling herself that. Philip was gone. The only bright spot she’d known during those terrible stifling years was now snuffed out forever. Even slipping into that unending slumber, Aurora had been sure that Philip would save her. Her fairies had had magic and courage beyond imagining. But Philip had been the one to look into her eyes and tell her that she was worthy and wonderful and that he wanted to spend all his days with her. His determination and strength had been present even then.

 

Now the only one who also knew such things was Mulan and they were strangers to each other. Mulan was a warrior, able to protect herself and others. She wore men's clothes and was treated as any man’s equal. Philip had liked her so much that he’d taken her on his journey. He’d relied on her for encouragement and strength. He’d brought her to where Aurora had slept and had rightly believed that she would respectfully keep watch as he greeted his beloved.

 

Aurora found herself watching Mulan, trying to see what Philip had seen. How had Philip and Mulan met? Had they had to earn each other’s trust? Had they argued and fought before an accord was made? Had they slept beside each other when resting from the road? Had Philip ever noticed what a beauty Mulan was?

 

Aurora tried not to be sharp with Mulan, tried not to think terrible things of the one who put Aurora’s safety above all else. But this woman had travelled far with Philip, had fought battles at his side, and had loved him, Aurora was sure of that. Mulan had had Philip all to herself. She'd had what Aurora could never experience again.

 

So Aurora watched her, filled with resentment and a confused sort of yearning. And sometimes Mulan looked back.

 

*

 

Neither of them wore mourning clothes. They should, but such things were now impossible. Princess Snow and her odd daughter wore strange clothes and seemed at ease in them. Mulan wore her armour like an animal wore its own skin. Aurora wore thin skirts and gemstones and a shawl to keep her warm. She felt as though she should be in a guarded carriage, not traipsing about on foot. She longed for one of her simpler gowns and sturdier shoes. She longed not to stand out like a beacon, like a target for those who thought her easy prey.

 

She remained haughty with Captain Jones, who wrapped himself in charming words and courtly manners. He spoke and acted like a gentleman, like a piece of the kingdom that Aurora had once known so well, so she behaved in kind, as a princess should. Perhaps he would not betray them, though Emma seemed so sure that he would. Aurora lived in hope.

 

“Here.”

 

Mulan handed her a parcel of clothing. There were breeches, a simple high-necked shirt, boots, and a long thick coat. It looked like a page’s outfit, but it also looked comfortable, warm, and easy to move in. Aurora shook the fabric out with a growing smile.

 

“Where did you…?”

 

“Some of the buildings were deserted. We found food and many abandoned belongings.”

 

And Mulan had thought to look for something discreet and comfortable for Aurora, who kept a cool distance from her and churned with unsaid words, accusations, and fiery tears.

 

Remorse and shame uncurled inside the princess. Mulan was a better woman than she. She did her duty without complaint and never once said a damaging word to Aurora, though she must have been filled with them. She took care of Aurora, because it was what Philip would have wanted. She lived by honour, in every sense.

 

Mulan was looking at her, a shade unsettled by Aurora’s expression. She must look mad, Aurora realised, cradling clothes close and staring at the woman kind enough to think of her comfort. She tried a small sincere smile.

 

“Thank you, Mulan.”

 

“Your Highness.”

 

*

 

When Aurora changed into her new clothes, there was no glass for her look in. Hook offered to guard her, he was only thinking of her safety of course. Emma rolled her eyes and retorted that he was staying where they could all see him; he wasn’t going to get a free show. Aurora blushed and strode quickly away to a thicket.

 

Aurora now had plenty of practice in unclasping the fastenings of her dress without any assistance. She folded the gown and briefly pressed her face to it. Philip had touched this garment. He had caressed it when embracing her, when kissing her for the final time. She stroked the gauzy fabric. She had so few things left to remind her of him.

 

The clothing fitted well. Even the boots were a suitable size. Aurora had never worn clothing like it, but she knew she would be able to run in it and defend herself if necessary, for all the good it would do her.

 

She stepped out of the thicket, her dress tucked under her arm and her crown still woven into her hair. Mulan was waiting for her, standing on guard perhaps. Always on duty. Her eyes widened a fraction.

 

“It will take time to get used to this,” Aurora admitted, looking down at her attire. “I’m grateful, thank you, Mulan. Truly.”

 

Mulan bowed from the waist, a neat respectful gesture. She hesitated a moment before speaking. “It suits you, Princess.”

 

Aurora’s smile appeared unbidden. The moment stretched between them only a little longer, then Mulan turned to leave, her posture unwavering.

 

Captain Jones was clever with words. Aurora watched him wield them, a frown marring her face. He talked to Princess Snow, and to Emma, as though he was trying to make a place for himself in the group. Maybe he thought that by talking to Princess Snow he would gain himself a valuable place by her side, that somehow he would replace the Princess’s true love who waited for her. Philip would have watched the Captain carefully, and would have compared him to a snake in the grass, always slipping away and surviving and leaving disaster in his wake. Philip had often said that his father's court was inhabited by such men, men who claimed to have his father's best interests at heart but who only looked after themselves.

 

It struck Aurora that Mulan could have behaved like the Captain. She could have plied Philip with persuasive words about how unlikely it was that he'd ever find Aurora alive, she could have told him that Aurora wouldn’t wanted him to waste his life fruitlessly searching for her. She could have slid her way into his affections. But she clearly hadn’t – Philip’s love for Aurora had been there in his expression when she’d woken up. Mulan had been his trusted companion, determined to help him in his quest for his love. Mulan had thought only of Philip's happiness.

 

Such sacrifice.

 

Emma nudged Aurora, as they ate by the fire. “You're doing that thing again, with your eyes.”

 

Aurora blinked and quickly turned her gaze from Mulan to Princess Snow's daughter. “I'm sorry?”

 

Emma's face did something complicated but she stayed silent, leaving Aurora to stamp out embers and to glance at Mulan's glowing complexion across the flames.

 

How could Philip not have noticed her beauty?

 

*

 

They were often attacked. Of course they were. They were facing an extremely persistent foe as well as the perils of the land itself. Mulan always took up a defensive stance in front of Aurora when an ogre or beast or stranger crossed their path. Princess Snow always guarded Emma who claimed that she didn’t need to. Captain Jones protected himself.

 

Aurora watched Princess Snow construct arrows. She too had learned how to use a bow, at her mother’s insistence. It was the sort of skill that every princess learned, for ceremonial occasions and impressing other courts. But the lessons had been some time ago and Aurora had been through much since then. Still, she asked Princess Snow to teach her. Everyone else had a weapon. Princess Snow agreed with a smile and a squeeze of Aurora’s hand. Their stories were so alike. Aurora was deeply glad of her company and of the hope that Princess Snow embodied.

 

Princess Snow stroked Aurora’s hair while Aurora slept, to try and keep the nightmares away, and armed her in the daylight, helping her remember how to aim.

 

*

 

After Emma had stomped off, growling at Captain Jones to stop calling her Princess, Aurora followed, bringing her water to drink. Emma looked surprised and Aurora’s heart ached a little, for the little girl who’d grown up into his untrusting woman. Had Emma never had a Philip? Or maybe hers had been untrue, or whisked away from her. However strange Emma’s world sounded, it seemed that some things remained constant.

 

Aurora plaited flowers as they walked, knowing with a vague accompanying warmth that Mulan was near and was most likely keeping an eye on Captain Jones. It wasn’t her place to say anything but the words hovered on her lips regardless. Emma’s anger seemed to be cooling and Aurora finished a floral bracelet, slipping it around her own wrist and admiring the petals in the sun. Perhaps no one else would tell Emma.

 

Aurora let the words take flight.

 

“He’s telling the truth. It’s nothing you should deny.”

 

Emma snorted. “I’m not a princess. I’m a sheriff, got the shiny gold badge and everything.”

 

“Being one doesn't mean you can’t be the other too.”

 

Emma shook her head, her frustration clear. “This place…look, I’m not its princess. It’s not who I am, at all.”

 

Aurora lowered her gaze for a second, remembering the empty castle that Philip and Mulan had found her in. “Just because a kingdom is…changed doesn’t mean it no longer needs you.”

 

Emma stared at her and huffed but didn’t say a word more about it.

 

Later, Mulan sat beside Aurora as the fire burned and meat on sticks cooked, fat dripping and sizzling. Mulan had taken her heavy gloves off, Aurora noticed, and she looked almost hesitant. But she didn’t walk away. Mulan was braver than that.

 

  
Aurora smiled a little. She’d been lost in thoughts of her home, the castle, her parents, the fairies who’d given so much to protect her. She wondered, not for the first time, where Mulan had come from, what her family was like, how she had met Philip. What had she given up to help him?

 

Mulan's leg rested against Aurora's. Neither of them moved away.


	2. Chapter 2

Aurora still had nightmares. The red room still burned. But Princess Snow was always there to soothe her and Mulan was always within earshot. Aurora wondered what Mulan dreamed of. Princess Snow had confided that she herself dreamed of her husband, and of how much she missed him. They’d only recently been revealed to each other – the curse’s power sounded terrifying – and now they’d been torn apart again.

 

Mulan never gasped awake with worry or terror. She never flung her sword out in horror as she woke. She awoke quick, calm, and ready. Aurora admired that.

 

“I learned quickly,” was all Mulan said when Aurora commented on it. “Sometimes it’s the difference between life and death.”

 

*

 

Aurora missed proper food. She missed eating beside her parents, roasted birds and honeyed breads, and the comfort of a table. She’d broken out of sleep to greet her love, only to have him snatched away again, and all that she’d once held dear had crumbled into so much dust years before. She missed simply greeting her parents with a smile and a kiss. She missed bed linens and her chests of clothing and dancing to the lute’s sweet song.

 

She missed Philip.

 

She saw the same look in Mulan’s eyes that she saw when she stared at her own reflection in the river

 

Mulan’s expression tightened when Aurora’s gaze lifted to catch hers. Aurora wanted to ask, to seek out the warrior’s memories of Philip. But Mulan hoarded those images, those feelings, and Aurora guarded her own just as carefully.

 

They’d both loved the prince. And they both kept their memories of him close and secret.

 

But still Aurora wondered.

 

*

 

The night was freezing cold. Aurora tugged the blanket tighter around herself. She hoped that her teeth would stop chattering soon. She didn’t want her tears to freeze on her face.

 

There was movement nearby and Mulan, who always slept within easy distance of Aurora, moved closer. Her breath was warm on Aurora’s shoulder. Aurora closed her eyes.

 

_She saw Philip, in his coal-black tunic and hose. He was smiling at her. She was wearing her dress again, but with the sensible shoes and the long coat that Mulan had found for her. She knew, somehow, that if she looked back, she’d see her horse, with Princess Snow’s bow and arrow attached to the saddle._

_“But there’s no point looking back, is there?” Philip said softly as he gathered her into his arms._

_Aurora closed her eyes and let several tears fall._

 

In the morning, Mulan was still lying beside her.

 

*

 

Aurora’s arrows were flying truer than before. She often hit the target that Princess Snow had set up. Snow told her she was doing so well and the truth shone in her eyes. Aurora smiled back. She remembered learning in her castle’s grounds; she remembered how cool the breeze had been and how the sun had always threatened to shine in her eyes. She remembered her mother’s approval and her ladies-in-waiting embroidering beneath the nearby trees, their giggles reaching her ears as she pulled the bowstring taut.

 

  
Now she had Mulan, a strong shadow at her shoulder and something like pride in her eyes when Aurora hit the target. Aurora’s heart warmed. She looked more and more to Mulan now and Mulan looked back.

 

*

 

“There is a way for a soul consumed by a wraith to be reunited with its body.”

 

Aurora's heart jumped painfully at Captain Jones’ words and she quickly turned to face him, her expression shocked and wide with hope. His gaze was fixed firmly on her as her insides churned. Philip could be returned to her? How? And why was the Captain only telling her now? She felt breathless and heartsick.

 

 _Those with answers and a true heart will tell you without pause,_ Philip’s voice whispered from her memories. _What does he want in exchange?_

 

Aurora tried not to look too eager, hard as it was, and drew herself up straight. “Who told you this?”

 

Captain Jones smirked, just a little. “Somebody who knows. Somebody with the power to make it happen.”

 

Of course. Somebody with magic, like Cora. Aurora bit her bottom lip, her heart hammering fast. Perhaps the Captain meant to spirit her away, maybe he wanted to use her to hurt her friends. He clearly had no problem using Philip. Aurora’s heart ached; oh, she knew the risks, but the idea that Philip could be alive once more… She shook her head sharply.

 

“Magic.”

 

“Indeed. The very best kind.”

 

“I…Captain, I need to…please.”

 

She pushed past him, needing time to think, time to grieve and hope, despite his verbal protests. He grabbed for her arm but Aurora feinted out of his grasp and Emma had already caught sight of them and was glaring at the Captain. Aurora’s head whirled and she felt more than saw Mulan melt out of the shadows to join her. Mulan didn’t ask what was wrong; she waited. It was a great relief.

 

Finally able to catch her breath – her mind a bubbling stew of Philip and magic and him opening his eyes again – Aurora managed to form words.

 

“He said…he said that a wraith’s victim could live again, that their soul and body could be reunited.”

 

Her tone was raw and Mulan stilled, a shade of that rawness flickering briefly in her eyes. She understood, of course she did, and a little of that terribly confused feeling welled-up again in Aurora.

 

“I know it’s magic and that it could be Cora, but if there’s a chance...”

 

She didn’t finish the sentence and Mulan didn’t finish it for her. She drew a pace nearer, so that they wouldn’t be overheard, and her hand hovered, before dropping down empty. Aurora felt its touch anyway.

 

“Philip would say he sounds like a snake in the grass,” Mulan said at last, quiet and sure, not at all like she was sharing something secret and precious.

 

Aurora’s smile was small and she made sure to draw closer still to Mulan. “He would.”

 

They told Snow and Emma about the Captain’s helpful offer and Snow and Emma agreed – if it was possible to rescue Philip, they'd do it without Captain Jones' help. They had to keep moving forward though, no matter how much it ached.

 

_“There’s no point in looking back, is there?”_

 

Mulan slept much closer to Aurora that night.

 

*

 

Cora finally revealed herself the next day. There was a fierce wind and the Captain seemed to fight for both sides at once. Snow swung a staff and Emma cut the air with a sword, fury and something else in her eyes when she faced the Captain. Aurora suddenly thought of Philip, his determination to keep her safe, how he would have run into battle without a second thought. She retrieved Snow's bow and arrows and found Mulan at her side, sword drawn.

 

Mulan's eyes were fixed on her, something complex in her gaze. Aurora hesitated only for a second, then she stepped closer and pressed her lips to Mulan's. It was brief but Aurora poured so much into it. It was full of things that she couldn’t express out loud. Mulan's breath seemed laboured when they parted, but her mouth curved upwards and she deflected the magic that Cora threw at them. They didn't need words. Aurora notched an arrow to her bow and aimed.

 

_-the end_


End file.
